What Rosie O'Donnell taught me

Years ago when Rosie was just starting her stand-up career, she was a contestant on Ed McMahon's Star Search.  One of her favorite routines was about her aerobics class instructor. 

Rosie would begin her monologue wearing a terry cloth head band and a Flashdance off the shoulder sweat shirt with the neck ripped out and sweat pants pushed up to her knees. (Remember this was the 80's.)  To the best of my recollection, she'd imitate the instructor and chant, "... and one, and two and breathe and breathe and breathe, and one, and two, and breathe and breathe and breathe!"  Rosie would stop here, laugh and ask us, "Do we really need someone to tell us to breathe?"
  
Apparently we do.

When you hit your thumb with a hammer, what happens?  Usually there's a big gasp, an intake of a breath while you jump around holding the injured finger (and in my case a few choice words fly when hammer connects with thumb) and then you hold that breath until the pain is manageable.

For many, when labor contractions become intense, that's what happens.  You hold your breath through the pain until it is manageable and/or over. 

Here's why that's not the best option for managing labor pains, in my simple non-medical terms.

The muscles in your body are either voluntary or involuntary.  Meaning some move when you tell them to move and others move whether you ask them to or not. 

Your leg muscles, for example, are voluntary muscles.  You tell your brain that you want to go for a run and your brain tells the muscles in your legs to move.  If this didn't happen you'd fall down.


The heart muscle, on the other hand, is involuntary.  Involuntary muscles are muscles controlled only by the brain. These cannot be controlled consciously. You don't have to send it any messages at all.  Your heart will beat whether you ask it to or not.  And thank goodness for that, I say!  Otherwise we'd all be.......well, you know ... dead. :)

The pupils of the eye are an example of this, too, as they contract quickly when the eye is exposed to bright light.

Did you get this?  Voluntary/Involuntary.  There's a test at end. :)

The uterus is an involuntary muscle.  When you go into labor the uterus contracts, whether you like it or not.  You cannot stop labor once it begins.  A doctor can stop it with drugs if necessary, but you can't. So it behooves you to work with the contracting uterus, rather than against it.  (I love to say, behooves.)

Working with the contracting uterus means breathing.  Working against the contracting uterus means holding your breath.

Your muscles work best and most efficiently when there is a steady amount of oxygen coursing through your body.  Continuous breathing without holding your breath, greatly help this process.

Take a look at these two sites to see how the professionals explain it.
 Here and here.

Breathing through contractions, whether deep and slow, in early labor, or short and quick in the later parts of labor, is the important thing. So, just keep breathing.  Keep the oxygen flowing supplying your uterus with the vital red blood cells it needs to do it's job and don't hold your breath.  Nobody will mind however if you let a few choice words fly now and then.  Labor is hard work, dag nabbit!   

Please note: There will be a time when it's appropriate to hold your breath during the pushing stage, but that's another post.

If you were having babies 70 years ago, you don't remember the birth because you were knocked out cold and presented with a baby when you woke up.  Hopefully the baby was yours. :)

If you were having babies 30 years ago, you probably took a Lamaze class. There they taught very specific kinds of breathing.

But just like Poodle Skirts, Leisure Suits and the Ford Pinto, trends come and go. Rarely is a woman sedated to the point of unconsciousness during labor; and while Lamaze classes are still a viable option for preparing yourself for labor and delivery, (and my personal favorite) the numbers are down in Lamaze classes and the Epidural, it seems, is the way to go.

Whether you take childbirth classes or not, just remember Rosie O' Donnell on Star Search, who learned that we do, in fact, need to be reminded to breathe especially in stressful, physical situations like aerobics and childbirth.

Or, if you are too young to remember Rosie's early days, relax and think of Faith Hill and just Breathe.




 

An Avocado, a Pear and your Fist

An Avocado, a Pear and your Fist.. What in the world could these three things have in common?  They represent the average size of a non-pregnant uterus.  Amazing isn't it?  This small body part will stretch to provide a safe, secure womb for a baby, or two, or three, or even six if you're Kate Gosselin.  Whoa.....

Isn't nature grand?  Our bodies were made to make and grow babies.  Everything necessary is already there just waiting to provide food and shelter for your baby.

The uterus actually has another part to it, an important part, called the cervix.  This tiny wine cork sized part is especially important.  It keeps the door closed until everyone is ready.  When you're not pregnant it's the consistency of the tip of your nose.  As you morph into a baby growing debutante the cervix becomes the consistency of your ear lobe getting ready to gently flatten and open as your due date approaches.  The experts call that effacement and dilation.

Think of your turtle neck sweater, only upside down without out the arms and closed around the waist which is now on the top.  Got that?  :)  Maybe this picture will help.

When I taught childbirth classes I would grab one of my daughter's life like baby dolls and put it in the knitted uterus.  It was a great visual because I could show a posterior baby, face looking up towards your belly button, an anterior baby,the best position for vaginal delivery with the baby's face looking towards your lower back or a breech baby, little butt or feet first.

So make a fist right now and imagine a tiny baby growing in there.  

Yeah, the uterus is amazing. 

Labor is like Leaving on a Jet Plane

I taught Childbirth Education for five years and found it's easier and less threatening to just talk with someone who knows about what to expect as your due date approaches, especially if this is your first baby. 

It's hard to imagine how your labor will begin and progress until that magical moment when it actually does begin for you.  Here's one link to the details about what signs to look for indicating  labor is starting.  

There are some things you can count on happening and some things that might happen, and some things that have happened to your friends that will not happen to you. 

So let's just jump right into my metaphor for labor. Or as I like to call it, Leaving on a Jet Plane.  In most labors things progress like a first airplane ride.  Yes, I said like your first airplane ride.  Here's how:  Your bag is packed and you're ready to go......    Sorry, Peter, Paul and Mary! :)  

Let's start over in the plane.....
You are in your seat having done everything the flight attendants have told you to do.  Seat belt buckled, instructions listened to, seats in upright position, all electronics off and ready for take off. 

The plane begins to taxi down the runway, (early labor) and as you look out of the window you might think, "Okay, I've gone about this fast in the car."  You are doing fine and actually enjoying the ride at the moment knowing the trip is actually beginning.   

Early labor is like that.  You begin to experience contractions that aren't much different than some of the cramps you've had in the past during your period.  They may be intense but nothing you can't handle. 

Back to the plane.  As the plane gathers speed nearing lift off you glance out of the window and realize you are going faster than you've ever experienced before.  Wow, this is crazy fast.  

Labor progresses like that.  The contractions begin to come faster, harder and closer together and you begin to think, whoa....can I handle this? 

The plane lifts off and you grip the sides of the seat for a bit as you experience this new and wild part of the flight.

Labor sometimes takes you by surprise like this.  It keeps getting stronger and faster.  Of course it has to do this in order for your baby to be born, and you know that, but since it's so new, it can be scary.

As the plane levels off at cruising altitude, you are still apprehensive, a little scared and excited  but you  begin to manage and adjust to the new sensations.    

Again, labor is like that.  The contractions are intense but hopefully you  manage them with constant steady breathing and relaxation techniques (more about that later) and you cruise through each contraction.

After a while you begin your descent for arrival at your destination...Disneyworld!  In labor the goal is Stage Two where you can begin to push.  Not quite Disneyworld, but close to the end of your labor adventure. 

Everything changes when you begin to push and that's what we'll talk about in the next post.